I discovered Facebook in 2005 while searching for a new way to connect with the students I work with at a regional university. It had become a challenge to communicate effectively with my students, as many didn’t seem to like using email and most preferred text messaging. However, I didn’t want the hassle and expense of maintaining a work cell phone, so the Facebook thing seemed like an excellent option. I set up the account and sent all my students an email with instructions on how to subscribe, only to have a small number of students sign-up. Aside from the challenges involved with students not using email, I believe I was a little ahead of my time. Cell phones had not yet developed to the point where you could easily check your Facebook account, or email. I now believe that had I waited a year or so, it might have been a more successful tool to use with them. Nevertheless, as I waited for my students to use the site as I had envisioned, my friends soon found me on Facebook. Anyone who has experience with Facebook knows what this entails.
First, I made the foolish mistake of accepting a couple of friends on a “work-related” Facebook account. How naïve I was to think my friends would not post compromising pictures of me from 20 years ago on my account? Of course they did! Nothing like pictures of me in a tie-dye t-shirt, smoking pot, and drinking beer posted below a reminder to my students about our weekly advisement meeting! Next came the strange friend request from someone in my high school English class, who I barely knew, who thinks we need to reconnect after 20 years. Then of course, I received the old girlfriend “Friend request”. Talk about awkward. This Facebook thing was going downhill fast! So, in the end, I decided it was best to delete my account.
Despite its popularity, I have yet to return to Facebook, but I have enjoyed watching my co-workers, spouse, and friends become engrossed in it. Their input, mostly in the form of complaints, inspired the creation of, WrittenAllOverYourFace, a lexicon of Facebook terms that describe the daily actions of Facebook users, especially their more annoying posting habits. Enjoy!
Facebook Terms:
FaceLapse – when you fail to keep up with a friend’s situation as shared on FaceBook, yet they assume that you have and they proceed to carry on a conversation with you that skips all sorts of important elements that they assume you can fill in, but you can’t because you really don’t know what it is they’re talking about
FaceLapsed – when you realize that a friend, whom you assumed followed an important situation you shared on Facebook, has no clue what you’re talking about
Facelapsing- when an immediate feeling of panic overcomes you because you realize that a friend is referring to an important issue they posted on Facebook and you know nothing about it
FacePlant – when your friend discovers that you’ve been trying to fake your way through a conversation about something you should have read on their Facebook page but didn’t
FlatOnYourFace – when you post something no one cares about
FaceFunk – the temporary feeling of wanting to delete your Facebook account when you know you really couldn’t do it
FaceBunked – when someone posts a Snopes Article that disproves a Facebook post you thought was a true story
Catasphoney – the panicked feeling you get when you think you’ve lost your cell phone and can’t check Facebook
FaceLess – the lurker on Facebook who have friended everyone you know, but never post, comment, or like anything, yet you know they’re checking out everyone else’s pages
JerkFace – the asshole that makes critical comments on everyone’s Facebook posts and acts like their being cool, or funny
FaceBalk– when something you post gets no comments, is taken the wrong way, or is taken completely out of context
FaceLift – the temporary affirmation one receives from their friends after they make a Facebook post
FaceCade – a fake Facebook account used to troll Facebook for voyeuristic reasons
FaceOff – an argument that erupts between friends, and then between their friends, and then between their friends’, friends on Facebook
FaceSimile – the process of transmitting and reproducing pictures and posts through the Facebook network
FaceFiend – the individual who seems to live their life, or live out their life on Facebook
FaceMask – Facebook identity management that masks the “real” you
AboutFace – when someone deletes their Facebook account then acts like they were never on it, or are too good for it
FacebookByProxy – using your spouse’s Facebook account to contact friends rather than create your own account
Faceial – referring to yourself in 3rd person in Facebook posts
FaceBoast – constantly making Facebook posts telling the world how awesome your spouse, kids, or life is…
FaceBoaster – a person who constantly braggs about how awesome their friends, family, kids, and spouse are…
ConFaceius – a person who constantly shares philosophical or motivational quotes on Facebook
JockFace – people who find it necessary to post their latest workout or athletic activities on Facebook, i.e. “did legs today, glutes tomorrow…”
FaithBaseFace – people who only post Bible verses that were generated on their daily Bible Verse Generator
StuffYourFace – Food related posts, particularly annoying are people who post pictures of their food, or post a recipe, there’s a place for that it’s called Pinterest
NoFaceValue – mundane posts that no one reads or comments on
PoutyFace – comment seeking, Eeyore type posts, used to troll for attention that are usually cryptic in nature i.e. “pray for me today…” About what exactly?
ShameFaced – the guilty feeling you get after posting something you shouldn’t have on Facebook
TwoFaced – the act of agreeing or liking to contradictory posts, just to keep an argument, or Facebook drama going for your own enjoyment
CutOffYourNoseDespiteYourFace – angry posts that don’t quell a Facebook argument you started and actually makes it worse (See FaceOff)
FaceDump – break-up or Divorce related posts, particularly when either situation is played out on Facebook for all the world to witness
DeFaceMent – being defriended by all your friends and basically run off of Facebook because you’re a creepy weirdo
ReSurFacer – a person who continually disappears then pops back up again by commenting on random Facebook posts
DuckFace – the annoying habit of posting duck lipped photos on Facebook, could also be Duck Dynasty related posts
Let’sFaceIt – something that is actually worthy of a Facebook post
EggOnYourFace – having to apologize for a post that you defended as true, or correct, only to later have to admit your were wrong…
ShitFaced – drunken Facebook posts, or posting something while drunk
EmotiFace – constantly using annoying emoticons in Facebook posts
NarrowFaced – radical or extremist type political posts that have a Left or Right orientation
NotGivinaFace – posting things you wouldn’t normally post on Facebook regardless of what other’s may think about it
SaveFace – posting comments that allow you to maintain the respect of others
InYourFace – a post that terminates a Facebook argument or FaceOff
FaceTime – the amount of time one spends on Facebook, or the act of scheduling to time to be on Facebook
FaceFeud – When a FaceOff erupts between family members on Facebook
FaceGape – watching in wonder as a FaceOff or FaceFeud plays itself out and not believing what friends and family can write about each other on Facebook
* Contributions to this article provided by Stephanie Strode, Carter D. Strode, and Kim Oaks-Blair.
Thursday, February 06, 2014
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