WrittenAllOverYourFace - A Lexicon of the Annoying Posting Habits of Facbook Users

I discovered Facebook in 2005 while searching for a new way to connect with the students I work with at a regional university. It had become a challenge to communicate effectively with my students, as many didn’t seem to like using email and most preferred text messaging. However, I didn’t want the hassle and expense of maintaining a work cell phone, so the Facebook thing seemed like an excellent option. I set up the account and sent all my students an email with instructions on how to subscribe, only to have a small number of students sign-up. Aside from the challenges involved with students not using email, I believe I was a little ahead of my time. Cell phones had not yet developed to the point where you could easily check your Facebook account, or email. I now believe that had I waited a year or so, it might have been a more successful tool to use with them. Nevertheless, as I waited for my students to use the site as I had envisioned, my friends soon found me on Facebook. Anyone who has experience with Facebook knows what this entails.

First, I made the foolish mistake of accepting a couple of friends on a “work-related” Facebook account. How naïve I was to think my friends would not post compromising pictures of me from 20 years ago on my account? Of course they did! Nothing like pictures of me in a tie-dye t-shirt, smoking pot, and drinking beer posted below a reminder to my students about our weekly advisement meeting! Next came the strange friend request from someone in my high school English class, who I barely knew, who thinks we need to reconnect after 20 years. Then of course, I received the old girlfriend “Friend request”. Talk about awkward. This Facebook thing was going downhill fast! So, in the end, I decided it was best to delete my account.

Despite its popularity, I have yet to return to Facebook, but I have enjoyed watching my co-workers, spouse, and friends become engrossed in it. Their input, mostly in the form of complaints, inspired the creation of, WrittenAllOverYourFace, a lexicon of Facebook terms that describe the daily actions of Facebook users, especially their more annoying posting habits. Enjoy!

Facebook Terms:

FaceLapse – when you fail to keep up with a friend’s situation as shared on FaceBook, yet they assume that you have and they proceed to carry on a conversation with you that skips all sorts of important elements that they assume you can fill in, but you can’t because you really don’t know what it is they’re talking about

FaceLapsed – when you realize that a friend, whom you assumed followed an important situation you shared on Facebook, has no clue what you’re talking about

Facelapsing- when an immediate feeling of panic overcomes you because you realize that a friend is referring to an important issue they posted on Facebook and you know nothing about it

FacePlant – when your friend discovers that you’ve been trying to fake your way through a conversation about something you should have read on their Facebook page but didn’t

FlatOnYourFace – when you post something no one cares about

FaceFunk – the temporary feeling of wanting to delete your Facebook account when you know you really couldn’t do it

FaceBunked – when someone posts a Snopes Article that disproves a Facebook post you thought was a true story

Catasphoney – the panicked feeling you get when you think you’ve lost your cell phone and can’t check Facebook

FaceLess – the lurker on Facebook who have friended everyone you know, but never post, comment, or like anything, yet you know they’re checking out everyone else’s pages

JerkFace – the asshole that makes critical comments on everyone’s Facebook posts and acts like their being cool, or funny

FaceBalk– when something you post gets no comments, is taken the wrong way, or is taken completely out of context

FaceLift – the temporary affirmation one receives from their friends after they make a Facebook post

FaceCade – a fake Facebook account used to troll Facebook for voyeuristic reasons

FaceOff – an argument that erupts between friends, and then between their friends, and then between their friends’, friends on Facebook

FaceSimile – the process of transmitting and reproducing pictures and posts through the Facebook network

FaceFiend – the individual who seems to live their life, or live out their life on Facebook

FaceMask – Facebook identity management that masks the “real” you

AboutFace – when someone deletes their Facebook account then acts like they were never on it, or are too good for it

FacebookByProxy – using your spouse’s Facebook account to contact friends rather than create your own account

Faceial – referring to yourself in 3rd person in Facebook posts

FaceBoast – constantly making Facebook posts telling the world how awesome your spouse, kids, or life is…

FaceBoaster – a person who constantly braggs about how awesome their friends, family, kids, and spouse are…

ConFaceius – a person who constantly shares philosophical or motivational quotes on Facebook

JockFace – people who find it necessary to post their latest workout or athletic activities on Facebook, i.e. “did legs today, glutes tomorrow…”

FaithBaseFace – people who only post Bible verses that were generated on their daily Bible Verse Generator

StuffYourFace – Food related posts, particularly annoying are people who post pictures of their food, or post a recipe, there’s a place for that it’s called Pinterest

NoFaceValue – mundane posts that no one reads or comments on

PoutyFace – comment seeking, Eeyore type posts, used to troll for attention that are usually cryptic in nature i.e. “pray for me today…” About what exactly?

ShameFaced – the guilty feeling you get after posting something you shouldn’t have on Facebook

TwoFaced – the act of agreeing or liking to contradictory posts, just to keep an argument, or Facebook drama going for your own enjoyment

CutOffYourNoseDespiteYourFace – angry posts that don’t quell a Facebook argument you started and actually makes it worse (See FaceOff)

FaceDump – break-up or Divorce related posts, particularly when either situation is played out on Facebook for all the world to witness

DeFaceMent – being defriended by all your friends and basically run off of Facebook because you’re a creepy weirdo

ReSurFacer – a person who continually disappears then pops back up again by commenting on random Facebook posts

DuckFace – the annoying habit of posting duck lipped photos on Facebook, could also be Duck Dynasty related posts

Let’sFaceIt – something that is actually worthy of a Facebook post

EggOnYourFace – having to apologize for a post that you defended as true, or correct, only to later have to admit your were wrong…

ShitFaced – drunken Facebook posts, or posting something while drunk

EmotiFace – constantly using annoying emoticons in Facebook posts

NarrowFaced – radical or extremist type political posts that have a Left or Right orientation

NotGivinaFace – posting things you wouldn’t normally post on Facebook regardless of what other’s may think about it

SaveFace – posting comments that allow you to maintain the respect of others

InYourFace – a post that terminates a Facebook argument or FaceOff

FaceTime – the amount of time one spends on Facebook, or the act of scheduling to time to be on Facebook

FaceFeud – When a FaceOff erupts between family members on Facebook

FaceGape – watching in wonder as a FaceOff or FaceFeud plays itself out and not believing what friends and family can write about each other on Facebook

* Contributions to this article provided by Stephanie Strode, Carter D. Strode, and Kim Oaks-Blair.

On Appalachia and being an Appalachian...

First and foremost, I'm not a southerner. At least not in that deep south, ante-bellum plantation sense, nor am I some carpetbagger, who came to this region to exploit it's people. I am however, a Southern-Appalachian, which is really all together different. Some have called us hill-billies, country-bumpkins, backwards-assed rednecks, and the like. Some of us can skin a buck and run a trout line, and yes, there are those among us who can even make their own whiskey.

However, we also wear shoes, read books, think intellectually, and care about worldly issues. Although heavily stereotyped, we continue to persevere in spite of the discrimination directed toward us. Often this fact is over-looked, especially to the far-left thinking world, who would view us as a part of the priveledged dominate majority because of our skin color. Well this may help us "pass" at a superficial level, but when we open our mouths, we are automatically relegated to a "lower" status in society, and then when one mentions that they're from East Tennessee, well it even gets worse. We are then asked to repeat words while people laugh, teased about inappropriate relationships with our family members, accused of being racists, etc. However, because we are a member of what is called the dominate majority, this discrimination is overlooked or justified based on past discrimination directed towards other minorities. Despite my dedication to be an "educated" individual, people in metropolitan areas very rarely take me serious, for I don't have that deep south Ret-Butler/Mark Twain type of dialect that elicits an idea of southern aristocracy and decentcy. We do speak different here in the hills and our dialect sounds foreign, or ignorant. Nevertheless, I have digressed, for I am not here to talk about the injustice wrought on my people or my region, which is significant, because we don't take to kindly to that type of talk, or belly achin'.

With that said, Appalachians are a hardy group of individuals. We fought the King's rule and the Indians to live on this land that no one really wanted. Things don't grow well in rock or on the side of a mountain. Yet, we persevered and today, most of us carry ourselves with pride and dignity in knowing that we come from one of the most beautiful places on earth and our region produces people of character, skill, and compassion. Our Ol' Time Country and Bluegrass music continues to grow in popularity, and our region is one of the most visited in the nation.

I choose to live here for many reasons. Mainly, because of the people here and the freedom I have here to be who I am and accepted for it. Also, the food around here is pretty good too. Most of the people here are very friendly, not to say we aren't lacking in problems, for no one city, town, or metropolis is without it's problems. Critics of the area point to our lack of diversity. I would ask how they define diversity, or what are the criteria to be considered a hub of multi-culturalism and diversity. We have diversity here, maybe not like New York City, or L.A., but we have it. I would question whether those critics have actually been to this region, or are they themselves still operating from an accepted stereotype of southern Appalachians. Search anyone of us and our genealogy, you will find German, Irish, Scottish, Cherokee, Melungeon, and many others, but because the majority here may be "white" were not considered diverse. Lastly, I would question the diversity of a city like New York, where southern-Appalachians are still having to fight, just like other minorities, to be apart of and taken seriously in the mainstream society.